Short Story — A Journey from Doubt to Confidence
An unexpected encounter on the metro restored the confidence of a defeated person.
What was that moment when I completely lost all my confidence and ran away like a coward? I couldn’t understand the question; I couldn’t even grasp the words he was saying. I lost my nerve when he asked me, “You mentioned you were involved in architecting the solution, yet I don’t know about basic concepts.”
That was when I lost my calm, and everything fell apart. I couldn’t think clearly; my thoughts felt ordinary, not at all like those of an architect or a developer. I felt as though I hadn’t learned anything. My voice trembled, and I couldn’t make eye contact. I lost my voice. This was the first time I faced failure, and it made me feel like a failure.
It feels like all my experience is in vain. I couldn’t explain to the client why a particular architecture was required or how it would improve the overall application structure.
Have I really learned anything?
Now, I feel like a fraud. I’ve done nothing significant in the last 13 years. I’ve failed 4–5 interviews now and haven’t improved at all.
I’m sitting at a metro station, sulking about my interview and how it was the worst moment of my life. I’ve lost all confidence, lost my dignity and pride. I’m not sure if I can face another interview. I keep sulking, feeling like I’m dragging myself to the earth's core.
While I was sulking, an elderly woman came and sat near me. She must have been exhausted from the metro ride, wiping sweat from her face and trying to cool off and relax. She asked if I had any water, and I shared my bottle with her without a smile. She drank and returned the bottle to me.
I held the bottle in my hand, staring at the ground. The woman asked if there was a leak in the bottle because a few drops of water had spilled on the ground. But it wasn’t water—it was my tears. Startled by her question, I quickly wiped away the tears and politely told her there was no leak.
Then she asked me what had happened. For some reason, I felt like I could share anything with her. Her presence was so comforting and welcoming that I couldn’t hide my tears. I started crying as I shared everything — how I left the interview in the middle, how I felt, and how uncertain I was about what to do next.
The woman listened patiently, with sincerity on her face. She wasn’t just listening for the sake of it; she acknowledged every point I made. After hearing everything, she handed me her handkerchief to wipe my tears.
She asked me what I had learned from this interview. Had I understood what I was lacking? She told me to recall all my experiences and, for each year, to tell her about my achievements.
With her guidance, I started listing each year’s achievements. As I recalled all my experiences, I realized I had accomplished much more than I ever thought. Over the past 13 years, I have handled some very difficult clients and delivered very complex projects.
She then asked what was missing in the interview, and I shared that it was confidence and self-doubt. I mentioned what I should know but had never learned, and she asked me to list them. Next, she asked me to prepare a list of items that I think are necessary for landing my next job and why I’m looking for a job.
Ultimately, she helped me compile a list of my achievements, skills, weaknesses, and needs. Now, I have a definite plan for my next interview.
Before she left, she placed her hand on my head and, with a smile, said,
“Don’t worry, this too shall pass. Just have faith in yourself and God. You sometimes don’t realize what you’re capable of; whenever you’re in doubt, create a list of your achievements.”
I thanked her a lot, and now I have my smile back.
I asked her how she knew about these things and how she knew I needed help.
She just smiled and said, “I know, Himanshu, and I am always there to help you.”
“How did you know my name?”
My metro arrived, and as I turned my head to see it, she had vanished when I looked back at her.
